A Boy
by yaoilover12397
Summary: BIG BANG fanfic. TOP has an unrequited love for his leader and tried to deny his feelings. Teayang takes the whole group to a club to celebrate their latest concert but, to TOP's horror, he can't hold himself back when G-D takes him onto the dance floor ruins his only chance to confess.
1. Chapter 1

A G-Dragon (Kwon Jiyong) and TOP (Choi Seunghyun) fanfic~ got the sudden inspiration from my school friend the other morning while we talked about our fanfic ideas. Thanks Danizaya1 for the brilliant idea (that you didn't know you gave me) Also, a little of D-Lite/Daesung (Kang Daesung) and Seungri (Lee Seunghyun) on the side ~ w ~ is that cool? Well it had better be! xD Teayang is like a match maker in this~ sorry, he just kind of gives me that vibe ^^"

Any who, I don't own the member's, although I wish I did. *cry face* completely fan-based. None of this is real, only in my head, sadly….. *le sigh* If you don't like, please don't hate and I love criticism. Ciao for now. Oh, and if you leave a review, I will give you a squirrel… maybe~

ALIVE

Chapter 1

/~G-D~/

Jiyong threw his coat haphazardly over a chair as he walked into the huge apartment he and his friends shared and went through to his room. He ran a hand through his pink hair, grimacing at the greasy feeling. Shower first. He stopped by his closet and picked out a pair of fuzzy pajama pants to sleep in and headed to the shower, relishing the thought of having hot water for once. Turning on the hot water, he repeatedly thanked whoever had invented such a brilliant thing as the shower while the steaming water loosened up his sore muscles. Tours were getting more and more exhausting. Still a lot of fun but just… a hassle. He sighed as he thought over their most current success. Their Alive album had raked in a lot of new and old fans alike and a lot of support from their fan clubs had poured in. This was probably BIG BANG's best year yet. And still….

He scowled to himself as he washed his hair vigorously. The bastard! Why the hell did he have to go and do that? In public no less. Trying to distract himself briefly, he picked up a razor and began shaving his toned legs, careful not to nick himself. A man needed to look good for those revealing outfits. He gritted his teeth in anger while he shaved, his jaw aching by time he was done. TOP…. 'Why the hell did you go and do that?' he thought, part of him supremely angry while the other part was secretly thrilled.

/~TOP~/

TOP watched regretfully as Jiyong shut himself up in the shower, a few choice cuss words filtering through the door. Wisely, the other members had excused themselves for the evening, saying they were going to celebrate their most recent success some more. He found himself sighing and stopped, deciding he might as well try to get some sleep. Their schedules were getting more and more intense and strict, making it hard to get time to one's self. He laid down on the couch, too tired to even think about going to his room on the opposite side of their home. All he had time to remember was laying his head down and closing his eyes before sleep claimed his weary mind.

~~ FLASHBACK ~~

/~TOP~/

Jiyong looked as attractive as ever. TOP felt his eyes become glued to his fellow group member. He'd felt this attraction for Jiyong, or, as he liked to be called on stage, G-Dragon, for a long time now. He watched from the sidelines as G-D serenaded the audience with one of his love songs, his eyes watching those soft looking lips sing. What he wouldn't do to hear that voice behind closed doors… He sighed as he leaned against a container backstage, reaching a hand up to rub the bridge of his nose. He'd felt disgusted about how easily he'd fallen for his friend, ashamed even. Why it had to be Jiyong, he didn't know. It just had to be. He couldn't get it up for anyone else or even for his favorite AV's.

TOP felt Teayang staring at him after he sighed for the tenth time. He looked over to see his friend making his way over to him. Before Teayang could reach him, though, they got their cue to go onto the stage for their last performance of the concert. He sighed inwardly in gratitude as he walked out on stage, pulling on his smirking mask as usual.

Jiyong sent a cheerful smile his way as a bead of sweat trickled down his neck, TOP's eyes becoming glued to it as it trailed itself lower. He hurriedly ducked his head slightly in acknowledgment and went to his designated spot, grinning out into the crowd. He bowed his head slightly, as did most of the members, before the cue came over their small ear sets to get ready. The beat for Monster came on and they all got into their proper starting positions. TOP thought G-D sang beautifully; he always did, in TOP's opinion. Even when he was drunk he still sounded beautiful.

He managed to get through the song on autopilot, his head far too preoccupied with thoughts of Jiyong. While the crowd screamed and practically orgasmed, they sauntered off stage, waving at the girls screaming their names. TOP chuckled as Seungri and Daesung put on a bit of fan service for the audience, hugging tightly, and a bit intimately, before exiting the stage, laughing. He wished he could do things like that with Jiyong in the future….

He sighed as he headed towards his changing room, brushing past tech crew and the like. He heard Teayang call out for him and he almost sighed again. Today just wasn't his day. He waited patiently for his shorter friend to catch up, smiling slightly at him.

"What is up with you lately?" Teayang asked bluntly, grabbing TOP by his upper arm and dragging him into the taller man's changing room. "You keep mooning over Jiyong so obviously like that and he's bound to notice," he chastised his friend as he took a seat, crossing his legs and huffing in irritation.

"I don't know what you mean," TOP replied calmly, pulling his stage mask to him. He changed quickly and sat down opposite from Teayang. "Anyways, even if he were to notice, he'd spout some nonsense about how he can't have a relationship since he's our leader or something along those lines."

Teayang sighed, running a hand through his hair and messing it up. He looked down at the floor for a few minutes, silently centering himself before looking up and glaring at his friend.

"If you won't tell him, I will. Even Seungri and Daesung are working things out and getting a few kicks out of it!" he exclaimed, tired of seeing his tall, handsome friend mope around after concerts. "I'm sick and tired of this one-sided love! Just tell him! It's not like he'll disband our group or anything!" he ranted, feeling like the nosy mom from a drama trying to get the two main characters to hook up.

TOP sighed and hung his head, ashamed of himself. "Teayang, I don't feel like talking about his right now," he muttered wearily, his whole being tired of thinking about it. He just wished he hadn't fallen for his leader and longtime friend. Why couldn't it have been someone outside of the group? Even after repeated promises from the two love-struck idiots that there'd be no problems from them in case their relationship ended, he was worried that he'd break their group if he confessed.

Teayang saw his friend's weariness and sighed, deciding it would be best to let it rest for now. "Alright, but promise me you'll at least try to tell him before the night is over, neh?" he asked one more time as he stood up to go, hands on his hips. TOP smiled at this, reminded of how much of a mother hen his friend was.

"Alright, I'll try," he promised Teayang, raising his hand for a friendly fist bump with his band mate.

~~A FEW HOURS LATER (Celebration Party at a Club)~~

Jiyong and all of BIG BANG were laughing around a table, drinks in their hands. Teayang was drinking juice and non-alcoholic beverages since he was driving and Seungri and Daesung kept going onto the dance floor to grind up against each other every now and then. Jiyong would laugh at their antics as TOP sat in silence, brooding over what Teayang had said. Finally, as the night was drawing to a close and Daesung and Seungri were on the verge of passing out, Teayang took this as an opportunity to get his leader and friend some alone time together.

"I'm going to take them out to the car. I'll text you when I have them safely buckled in and the car started," he said simply as he began to lead his intoxicated friends off, giving TOP a quick thumbs up.

Jiyong chucked as he sipped at his martini, glancing up at TOP quickly. TOP was still brooding and looking across the dance floor, giving the slightly shorter leader an idea.

"Want to dance?" he offered as he set his glass down and stood, holding his hand out to his tall, brooding friend. His smile brightened by about 10 notches when TOP hesitantly took his hand and led him out onto the dance floor. He soon realized that he'd made a mistake when the song tempo became slow and romantic. TOP cleared his throat and unconsciously brought his long time crush closer to him as they swayed to the beat. He felt Jiyong stiffen and almost let go but then he felt slender arms slowly slide around his waist and anchor them together in a sea of people. Hundreds of thoughts were zipping through his head but he could only focus on how warm Jiyong was, how right it felt and how well they fit together. He smiled and looked down at Jiyong, his leader, his friend, his crush, and couldn't hold himself in check any longer when he saw the soft, sweet smile curving Jiyong's lips. He closed the scant few inches between their faces and covered his leader's soft, warm, lips with his own, groaning as pent up desire threatened to break free.

Gasping, he shoved Jiyong from him, looking around in bewilderment. He needed to get away, had to get away. He covered his mouth with his hand, lips still tingling with warmth. He looked everywhere but at Jiyong's face, knowing he'd broken something that he'd never be able to fix. He heard a soft noise coming from the frozen person in front of him and realized Jiyong was staring up at him wide eyed, his mouth slightly agape. His expression was one of shock, his arms were tightly wrapped around his own body and he was trembling slightly. He flinched away from TOP's touch as if it would burn him and bolted for the door, the spell broken.

"Shit..," TOP muttered every cuss word he knew in any language that came to mind as he stalked towards the door. His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and he dug it out, glaring at the message.

_What the fuck did you do!?_

He replied back to Teayang and shoved his phone back in his pocket, dodging people who were coming into the club as he made his way outside to Teayang's car. He really didn't want to see his friends right now but he was too drunk to walk home on his own. Jiyong was already in the back behind the driver's seat, facing the window away from TOP. There was a painful squeeze in TOP's chest as he slid into the front passenger seat, securing his seat belt without looking at Jiyong much. Teayang stared at him for a long time before checking behind him and pulling out onto the street. He took all the shortcuts he knew to get them home sooner and out of the confined space of the car. Teayang would periodically check on Jiyong in the rearview mirror, wondering if he would truly break them up.

~~PRESENT~~

Jiyong finished drying himself off, feeling completely clean after his long shower. He whistled soft as he made his way back to his room, shutting and locking the door safely behind him. He leaned against it as he reached up and touched his lips softly, closing his eyes against the burning tears forming there. Things would never be the same now, not ever. He had known about TOP's feelings, had known and hadn't done anything and it had finally come to this. He felt horrible for denying the feeling he had known were there but hadn't done a thing to make it easier for TOP. This was his punishment it seemed, to know what the forbidden fruit tasted like, craving more, and knowing he could never allow himself access to it. He briefly thought about disbanding the group but shook his head at the thought. BIG BANG was more than a group name, it was their lives. Teayang's, Daesung's, Seungri's, TOP's, and his own lives were interwoven and could never be the same if it were to come to an end. He sighed wearily as the tears spilled over, despair welling up in him. How could he go on and still deny Top's feelings, or even his own, from now on?


	2. Chapter 2

I'm sooooooo sorry for such a late update! There were problems with my Microsoft word and then there was school and uuuurgh too many problems! BUT! Now I'm over all of them and even my writer's block is gone~! YAY! So without any further ado ~~ please kindly enjoy this next installation to my series, A Boy, Chapter Two.

AN: I'm very sorry for not mentioning this earlier but if they seem a bit OOC, I'm terribly sorry! This is just how I view them and what not, not how they actually are. No infringement of actual person intended here. Also, I don't have a beta currently. So I'll try and catch any mistakes while I proofread. Sorry ahead of time for any mistakes.

**WARNING**: a little bit of masturbation~

"Talking"

_/Thinking/_

**A Boy**

_Chapter 2_

/~G-D~/

_Next Morning_

Jiyong opened his eyes to warm sunlight filtering through his bedroom window. He groggily rolled over and looked at his clock. 7 A.M. He sighed as he reluctantly got out of bed. Sure it was his day off, but he still had a few things to get done before the photo shoots and interviews the nest day. Grabbing a change of clothes for the day, he headed to the bathroom to take a quick wake-up shower. After a relaxing half hour under the warm spray, he changed into a new pair of boxers and sweat pants that hung a bit low on him. The towel he'd used in an attempt to dry his hair was slung across his shoulders, catching droplets from his hair as he made his way to the kitchen. He stopped momently when he saw TOP sleeping on the couch. He debated with himself whether or not to wake him and decided not to. Those lips were tempting enough even from this distance…

Blushing madly, he quickly went to the fridge and grabbed some eggs and bacon, deciding a light breakfast was in order after all they had drunk last night, especially Seungri and Daesung. Putting some bread in a toaster, he whipped up a quick breakfast for his group. Setting the plates, he served each person their usual amount. Having cooked for everyone on multiple occasions and knowing how they were made it easy to figure out how much they ate at meals. Content with his work, he went around to wake up the members up one by one. He stopped by Seungri's room first and when there was no response, he opened the door to see no maknae in sight. Curious, he went to Teayang's room next, knocking softly to get his friend's attention.

He was surprised when the door opened immediately, revealing a fully dressed Teayang smiling at him.

"Morning, Jiyong," he greeted cheerfully, steering his leader into his room. He closed his door securely before turning to his leader. Jiyong looked at him curiously. "Morning? I just came to tell you breakfast was ready," he explained, wondering why Teayang looked serious all of a sudden.

"Let's cut the bull crap," Teayang said suddenly, staring at Jiyong hard, motioning for him to take a seat. Only after the pink haired man sat down did he continue. "I want to know exactly what happened last night, Jiyong. And don't even think about lying," he said, taking a seat in his computer chair. Jiyong stared at him, his earlier fears rising up in him.

_/Oh, no, he's found out./ _he thought with a sinking feeling. He wasn't afraid of Teayang finding out, so much as that as the leader, he couldn't just fall for someone so easily. Though he already had…

Jiyong stared at Teayang with puppy eyes, on the verge of tears. Teayang sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "…TOP already texted me the details last night. I've known this would happen sooner or later but I never thought that he'd do it so recklessly without even explaining himself. I even gave him time to do just that last night. That idiot."

Teayang stared at his leader a bit longer, who had turned his own gaze to the floor since tears threatened to spill over. Sighing again, he stood up and patted his hyung on the shoulder. "Let's go wake up Seungri and Daesung," he said, changing the subject smoothly. Jiyong snatched his head up, hope shining in his eyes before confusion sunk in and his brow furrowed.

"But… Seungri wasn't in his room…. Oh… Oh!" Jiyong's cheeks turned a bright pink as he realized that there was only one other room he could be in. He looked back at the floor uncomfortably, his hands clutching at his knees. He didn't want to think about last night but knowing that Seungri had spent the night in Daesung's room was making him think about what if that was TOP and himself?

Shocked at his thoughts, he stood suddenly, stiff as a board as he apologized to Teayang for taking up his time as he walked out of the room back to the kitchen. A glance told him TOP was still asleep on the couch as he practically ran into the kitchen, grabbing his plate and a water bottle, and made his way back to his room. He closed and locked his door, not wanting to face anyone, not even himself. There was no way he and TOP would ever become like Seungri and Daesung because he couldn't allow it to happen. There was just no way. There were things to be done with the group and there was just no way he was going to be distracted by a relationship with an extremely hot guy…

_/Stop it! Quit thinking about him, stupid!/_ he thought angrily to himself as he set his food down on his computer desk. Flopping down on his bed, he buried his head in his pillow, wanting to scream at himself. Why couldn't he just forget about his feelings and give up? There was no way he could have a relationship with TOP. None. That kiss last night was a fluke… Wasn't it? Maybe TOP was just drunk…

It didn't matter to Jiyong's body whether TOP was drunk or not. Heat flared through his body as he remembered the feeling of TOP's lips on his. He groaned as the heat collected in his groin, making him very hot and uncomfortable. He reached down as if to touch it but snatched his hand back in shock, too afraid of what he might think of while he relieved himself. _/It's not what I __might__ think of, it's of what I __will__…./ _he sighed dejectedly as he grabbed his blanket and curled up in it, too confused and upset now do anything. His food sat forgotten on his desk, growing cold now.

/~TOP~/

TOP rolled over and fell of the couch unceremoniously, a loud groan escaping. Teayang peeked over the back of the couch, smirking evilly in a serves-you-right kind of way. Groaning in pain as he stood up stiffly, he glared at the couch. _/Note to self: Do not sleep on the couch again. It's now as comfy as it looks./_ He stretched out his sore joints before following Teayang to the kitchen where breakfast was already made. He stared at it and Teayang questioningly but before he could voice his question, Teayang beat him to it.

"Jiyong made it. He already took his helping and went back to his room," he explained, his eyes narrowing at TOP. TOP swallowed nervously and sat down in his chair to eat. Teayang stood there for a second longer before walking out of the kitchen and down the hall to his right. Daesung and Seungri needed woken up still. Knocking loudly on the door, he called their names through it, telling them food was on the table. He chuckled as he heard them scramble for their clothes behind the door, whispering to each other, clearly embarrassed. Leaving them to get ready, he went back to the kitchen to eat his food.

TOP was slowly eating his food, too guilty to really eat. He pushed most of his food around, trying to think of something to say to Teayang. Finally, he pushed his plate away and looked up at his friend.

"…Teayang... Jiyong... He... He didn't say anything about disbanding, right?" he asked nervously, chewing on his bottom lip. Teayang stared hard at him, putting down his chopsticks before answering.

"..No… Not yet at least. But if you pull a stunt like that again, I can't really say. You know how he thinks. He can't choose one or the other and he feels like he can't choose both. He may act all confident on stage and with other matters, but when it comes to something personal, he's even more hesitant than you. And that's saying something," he said, propping his head up with his hand as he talked.

TOP felt crestfallen. Teayang had basically confirmed all of his fears and crushed most of his hope that was remaining. He already knew that there was no hope for a relationship between Jiyong and himself but one could always hope, right? He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"Yeah, I know. I'll apologize properly later," he said softly.

Teayang felt helpless for his friend. Jiyong was a tougher case than what he'd dealt with when helping Seungri get Daesung to actually understand that his love for him was real. This would take some time to bring Jiyong around, if he ever could. He watched as TOP slipped out of his chair and exited the room, presumably on his way to take a shower.

"What's going to happen…?" he wondered aloud, right before Daesung and Seungri finally showed up. He decided he needed a change of mood and grinned at the sight of his happy-go-lucky friends. "So, how's your night go?" he started, teasing them. They all laughed, Seungri and Daesung blushing lightly as they sat down in their seats. They joked around and ate, dissipating the tense atmosphere from earlier.

TOP stopped by his room to grab some boxers and sweat pants before heading to the shower. Standing under the hot spray, he allowed his thoughts to derail and focus on Jiyong, more accurately, his lips. His soft, sexy, full lips. Lips he'd had the chance to kiss. He pulled that memory to him, wanting that chance again. His body became hot and aroused, his groin quickly awakening in response.

He groaned softly as he reached down and felt the length of it. Resting his arm on the wall of the shower for support, he began stroking. In his head, he kept imagining those lips on his lips, on his body, on his member. He shuddered and bit back a loud moan as he stroked faster, the image becoming more and more erotic. With just enough thought process left, he realized he was close. Burying his head in the crook of his elbow to muffle his loud moan, he came hard. Sighing, he stared down at his hand, feeling guilty all over again. Even though he knew that it was impossible, he wanted to feel Jiyong's lips on him. Wanted to hold that warmth again. He ran his clean hand through his hair, groaning in defeat, realizing he could never escape his feelings. There was just no way.

_/Looks like I'm just going to have to apologize and explain myself./_ he thought when he got out. Deciding it was better to get it done sooner than later, he quickly got dressed and mustered his courage while doing so. Not even bothering to dry his hair, he left the bathroom and made his way down the hall to Jiyong's room. He paused nervously in front of his leader's door, his hand lifted and ready to knock. Taking a deep breath and forced himself to knock.

Well? I hoped you liked it. Once again, I'm terribly sorry for the late update. Please please please don't hate me… hope this chapter is just long enough to appease some of you. Please drop me a review if you liked it and if you didn't please tell me why ~


End file.
